In 2007 I bought a copy of Nietzsche’s Twilight of the Idols and The Anti-Christ. On the same day I also bought Thus Spoke The Zarathustra and perhaps inspired by the books in my possession alcohol for under age teenagers who wanted to get drunk.
I read the book over the next week with a mixture of excitement and confusion. Excitement because for the first time I felt as if I understood what was being said, confused because my understanding did not match up with what was written in the blurb on the back of the books; I have since learnt that it is not often that I agree with Penguin’s blurbs.
Despite my understanding at the time and the copious notes I made while reading the books it is doubtful that I retained more than a quarter of the books, and what I did retain has no doubt been garbled by my memory to create some kind of bastard progeny of Nietzsche and I. Life is a battle between the strong and the weak, man is strong, society and religious rules make man weak and sick so that the weak and the sick can rule over the strong. A society’s God mirrors the society it rules over, and man is becoming progressively weaker and less fit for life due to living with others. Possibly also that the sick and weak should be put down and disposed of which I find rather ironic considering Nietzsche’s own health problems.
Somewhere towards the beginning of Twilight of the Idols (in fact on the first page) it is written:
12. If we posses our why of life we can put with almost any how. – Man does not strive after happiness; only the Englishman does that.
This I digested and translated into if you can understand the why behind something you can understand and accept any thing. The more I think about this, the more I wonder if Nietzsche actually influenced me here and I am wrongly assigning responsibility to him instead of someone else (or others) I can’t remember. Regardless as I grow older I am becoming more and more convinced at how true this is.
Right now all I want is a why which I don’t think I am ever going to get.